the voluntarily made involuntary

The origin of emotions can be seen as the interaction of external stimuli with an individual's perception and imagination. By accepting this, we create the comforting feeling of being in control of our life. Yet, we very selectively reject the voluntary nature of emotions when it doesn't suit us.

Instead of debating on the entire spectrum of emotions, I'll focusing on the two commonly confused emotions. Before you continue, try recollecting the these scenes from popular movies (DDLJ & The Notebook).

 

If you have seen these in past and felt the actors were being romantically in love, think again ! Without actually knowing the each other, the actor pursues and dots on the unknown girl he sees. Isn't his emotion based on the interaction of the visual stimulus with subconscious socially driven criteria of beauty, clothing, gender preference, symmetrical physiology etc (link). Try this thought experiment, imagine the leading lady dressed as a nun or some how dying in these scenes. They won't look very romantically in love anymore. This points towards our bias of assuming the attraction as love and labeling it involuntary by calling it 'love at first sight'.

In popular films, this emotion of being attracted towards an individual is sold as love. On the contrary, love is the emotion when you want well-being of another person and can exist in a variety of relationships; parental, sibling, couples or even random individuals. The stimuli in this case are perceived actions of care or sensitivity. This emotion also, is voluntary and based on an individual perceptions. A bouquet for flowers would be an expression of love and a pot of cauliflower may be just leftover food. :P

Due to social norms, the multiplicity of attraction and love is again a contentious topic. Before meeting their counterparts the actors would either go through break ups or would not know so called 'true love', all this to avoid the leading actors to be labelled unfaithful. In reel life, the change in emotions is conveniently ignored. Relationships can become sour or sweet over time, due to evolving perceptions and voluntary actions which affect emotions in real life. By accepting the reel life, we often forget the voluntary nature of emotions, thus voluntarily assuming it to be involuntary. 

Relax this won't be on the exam ! But next time you are confused by someone's emotions, identify the stimulus and perception, may be that will help.

Reference Videos:
1. Matthieu Ricard's approach to meditation: Also, known as the happiest man on earth. His brain has been a subject of research for being able to generate emotion of happiness through meditation. 

2. Why you feel what you feel ? by Alan Watkins: A neuro-scientist, his TEDx talk also touches upon understanding why you feel what you feel.